Junior

Should sword fighting be reintroduced in junior schools?

Great Britain, once a nation of heroes, is fast breeding a generation of pasty faced nancy-boys more interested in Hello Magazine and Celebrity TV than climbing mountains, winning wars and discovering new lands (at least that’s what I think it said in the Daily Mail). Would introducing sword fighting to the junior school curriculum help to restore national pride? I for one would welcome the sight of fat little bullies being cut to ribbons in junior school duelling contests.

Public Comments

1. put em back in the mines, or the chimneys. Get some smog in their lungs.It's good for em.
2. Ah old chap, that newspaper you've been reading is rather behind the times. Young chaps these days duel with knives in the street apparently. Though I gather they do not have the suave elegance of knights in past times, but rather lunge forward clumsily in the local newsagents, generally mortally wounding an innocent bystander. I wholeheartedly agree that today's youth is a far cry from their heroic forefathers who conquered the world teaching the natives to drink tea and procreate in the missionary position. This should be remedied by having our young boys sent to Iraq, Afganistan or Libya in order to teach the men there how to queue in an orderly manner, shave correctly and twirl their moustaches and to dress their women-folk in something more fetching than a dark sheet. I'm sure this will go down well with everyone.
3. Indeed it should and of course hero worship without being a woofer. I remember it well, chaps straight out of 'Boys Own', play cricket in the morning 195 not out, bowled all out for 4, afternoon a quick game of Rugger for the 1st 15, then down to the river for a brisk row of 30 miles, after tea get into the old kite and shoot down 6 of the devilish Hun back to the mess for dinner, a hand or two of whist, 3 duels and save a virgins honour from a chap that wears a long moustache and a black cloak, then into bed with a cup of cocoa ready for the following mornings dawn patrol. Fear not McFud those damned fuzzy wuzzies and Johnnie Foreigners wont get past me and my faithful chums 'Sniffy' Blenkinsop and Shafters. Your virtue will remain intact whether you like it or not.
4. It should never have been removed! Mind you, I'm the person who has been advocating for the repeal of the prohibition of la Coda Duello ! No, I'm not being flippant. I do believe that Politicians and their ilk will respect their constituencies with the threat of "That stretch of the silk and the dirk in hand, at dawn "!
5. You've just reminded me of something I read some years ago about some kids in grade 4 (public school) were caught with brass knuckles in their school bags. They planned on beating up their teacher because she gave them detention. My point being, perhaps sword fighting should be taken up by people of all ages? As a means of self-defense? Wouldn't that be fun!
6. Lady Felicity is well informed, as ever. The fashion these days is for youths to confront each other in battle on our city's streets. Penknives in hands and bandannas tied raffishly about their swarthy necks, these lads square up not one to one but in tight formation - each troupe comprising a half dozen desperados or more. Thus positioned - each "gang member" precisely equidistant from the other - they begin clicking their fingers and performing a menacing balletic dance routine whilst singing a pre-prepared signature ditty that informs the audience as to their own particular "gang name". It's an electrifying sight - terrifying and yet strangely compelling. If you've the stomach for it, Lord C, I'd recommend you watch the new, groundbreaking TV documentary "West Side Story" which gives a fascinating and factual insight into the youth culture of today. Needless to say, I too bewail the absence of sword fighting from the national schools curriculum. Moreover I feel kindergarteners would benefit from archery, shooting, and boxing lessons. However we must keep abreast of cultural developments on the "urban" fisticuffs scene. We fall behind the times at our peril, sir!
7. Reintroduced old boy? I wasn't aware it was off the curriculum, of course this would explain a lot about the way things are going in this country. Whats the world coming too, you'll be telling me next that jousting to the death is no longer performed on our British playgrounds that would be most unacceptable. Tip top.
8. Fencing and archery too.
9. Lacrosse, dear Lord Charles, is the most painful, punitive and therefore character- forming sport available and a good preparation for both sexes' future relationships and even marriages. It is the sport which made Lady McFud and me the women we are today - need I say more?